Welcome Lia Pearl Rakusin!
Welcome Lia Pearl Rakusin!
Questions answered:
The “05” in 10:05 is the time I arrived in the operating room. I checked the clock to make sure and had an ‘ahhh’ moment before they stuck a f#$%^&*ing needle up my spine. Yaouch!
I am still fertile. I couldn’t do it. They said if we haven’t decided on it for a while and there’s even a sliver of doubt (mine was 0.02%), do not go thourhg it. It’s final. So, I didn’t.
…Not that I don’t think we’d end here. I think definitely two biological kids are enough. Especially when there are other creatures to care for.
Where’s Lia now? She’s on my boppy getting ready to feed. She’ll feed in 3 minutes so I figured I better get her ready and awake before 2nd dinner time. She just put her fingers in her mouth and closed her eyes. She’s asleep like a baby.
Yeah, who said ‘sleeping like a baby’ meant sleep? It doesn’t I didn’t get to sleep until 7 AM this morning when my mom saw me still feeding and looking green. The secret to making a baby sleep is food and a tight swaddle. I don’t think I’m there yet with my milk production and I’m a crappy swaddler. I practiced today and it seems to be working. She’s still asleep and it’s 9:32 PM – 3 hours since her last feeding. She did stretch and let out a little poopie squirt. (TMI!)
Stats on Lia:
Lia – named after Lola Linda
Pearl – named after Grandma Pearl, Mitch’s Maternal Mom
Nickname: Yayay (she looks like a little Iyay, according to my parents. How appropriate.)
Birthday: July 28, 2008
Time: 10:24 AM
Hospital: Rex Hospital Birth Center, Raleigh, NC
Doctor: Jon Placide
Weight: 6 lbs, 4 oz
Length: 19.5 inches
Apgar Scores: 8, 9
How’s Ben?
Ben ended up with a 103 degree fever! He has herpangina – a contagious virus that gave him blisters on the roof of his mouth. His Papa and Mimi took him to the doctor’s office while I was being stitched, I mean, stapled. He couldn’t come to the hospital since he’s sick so we have been trying to keep them apart… but he took to her. When we got home, he was very happy to see me and he quickly went to the ‘babies’ to give her a nose to nose rub. He doesn’t seem to mind that I have to constantly feed her. Tonight I put him to bed for the first time in a long time. I miss my boy too. He’s a kuya now!
alright. i’m out.
The Calm Before the Storm or Rambling Thoughts Before Birth
The Calm Before the Storm or
Rambling Thoughts Before Birth
July 28, 2008, 5:52AM
In about four hours and 20 minutes I will meet my daughter, Lia Pearl Rakusin… that is, if the seers and the science are correct. So far, I’ve had a med technician and more than a handful of strangers tell me that this disco baby growing in me is going to be a girl.
Sleep, that sweet necessity from a previous life, is futile. My son has woken up three times tonight. Perhaps because Mitch and I left to watch a movie before we said goodnight and he felt abandoned. Or maybe because he’s nursing a slight fever. Whatever it is, I sure know what they both feel like. Last night at about this time I sobbed uncontrollably for a good 20 minutes feeling alone, discombobulated and totally hormonal. At least I can always blame the waterworks to hormones.
I never fully appreciated how pretty it is at this time of the day, mostly because I’m half asleep or curse the light for coming too soon. But once you give up and just say ‘to heck with it’, the dawn is a lovely, quiet time. A perfect time for a cup of coffee and some home baked pineapple upside-down cake… none of which I can have. Darn it! I wish my water breaks right this very minute and start contractions just so I know I can skip the C-section and start gorging.
So little time, so much to decide. Two kids, two dogs, a cat, and a big fish. Should we end there? I suppose having two kids is enough. Bill McKibben wrote a book about having just one child to rationalize his decision for wanting to be human – that is, to want to multiply and subvert the earth. As an environmentalist, he blamed human beings for ruining the earth. Thus, bringing another being into the world was just contributing to destruction. Mitch thinks that two is a good number. We’re not contributing to population explosion or implosion. Growing up in a family with 4 kids and a cousin who stayed with us, I always felt two kid families were too quiet. I suppose I’ll have to grow out of that mindset. Our beagles are pretty darn noisy, and Ben is a handful at 21 months. It’s not like we have an extra pair of hands to raise these creatures. From “zone defense” to “one-on-one” – that’s where we’ll be in …
Three hours and five minutes!
I’ll need to start changing soon to get ready for an 8 AM call time and the 10:05 AM operation. What’s with the ‘:05’ anyway? Is that the time they inject me with the anesthesia, or start slicing?
The sun’s fully out now. My eyes have definitely adjusted to the light, and I hear Mitch mumbling upstairs how worried he is that I didn’t get enough sleep. Listen up, Daddy. That’s not happening in this house anytime soon. I’m just getting a running start.
Thank goodness my in-laws are here. Ben seems taken with his Papa, Mimi, and Uncle Alex. They’re going to have a blast today! That is, if he wakes up with his fever down.
Meanwhile, I have to conclude this piece with a decision. To tie the tubes or not. That is too personal a question to be broadcasting to the world but what the heck……to tie tubies…. And never be pregnant again? Or leave it to chance or a break in pill popping?
Ayayay. Maybe one is not enough, but two is. And if it isn’t? Adoption is always an option. If I can love furry creatures as my own flesh and blood, surely I can do the same for a child from the same species.
And there you have it, ladies and gentlemen. This will be the end of my fertility.
072820080632
Rah-Rah-Rally: A Filipino Addiction that needs to stop
I was there at EDSA 2. There were only 6 cars parked at the Galleria when we got there. I really saw the crowd well up. It was really such a site to see how fast word/text travelled. From about 20 of us standing by the shrine to gazillions of people….
…..it was a high. I was part of history. Just like my parents before me when they went to EDSA to topple a dictator, here I was with my sisters and mom and my stinky armpits and pots and pans protesting a sealed envelope and the obstruction of justice. That Erap has to go!
It’s a great feeling to feel very empowered and shape the history of your country. That’s why i think Filipinos have become obsessed - nay, addicted - to politics and rallies. I really believed in what I was doing then…. and yet after reading postings from Pinoys who live abroad and the international press about "Mob rule" (ouch! how dare they!), I’ve realized that rallies, although it has its place, has become quite disruptive and destructive. Not only does it hurt the international perception of Filipinos, it causes immeasurable damage on the fragile economy. How many people could not go to work because of the traffic, and therefore wasn’t able to earn for that day/days? (When i was working hourly, I hated holidays because I wasn’t getting paid and it really cuts into an already tight monthly budget.) Yung mga bus and jeepney drivers along EDSA who couldn’t earn because their route was cut off? How many local and international transactions were cancelled or irrevocably expired because a meeting couldn’t push through for days? How many would-be investors looked elsewhere because of perceived political instability?
At EDSA 2, I really thought we were right in ousting a corrupt, bumbling President by taking to the streets. He didn’t deserve to lead our country. I thought we had the numbers to make us right. Then "EDSA 3" … the real masa descended onto the streets to demonstrate. Syempre, isip ko, binili lang yung mga taong yun. they were brought there in bus loads by Erap cronies. But what if they were really there because they believed their hero was wronged, and they (rightly) believe he should stay in power kasi siya naman ang elected? He was elected in an election that was generally considered to be fair. Sure, lagi naman may dagdag-bawas. There will always be a cloud of doubt, especially because our system is so archaic, and we have so many presidential candidates that no one will ever win the majority. But there it is. Our democratic system. We elected a stupid, corrupt actor, who was then replaced by a corrupt (pala) economist, who might be replaced by a former news reader Veep who is clueless about running a government effectively and who just might turn out to be as corrupt as the current one.
No system is perfect. No government is pure. Even in the
US
, there are ways of trying to go around a pretty efficient system. One only needs to look at the same time as EDSA 2. Al Gore won the popular vote, and because of a ruling by
Florida
’s Secretary of State, the re-counting of funky looking, made-to-confuse ballots were stopped, and GW Bush was proclaimed President of the most powerful country in the world.
Florida
, as everyone knew, was then being governed by Jeb Bush, George Bush’s little brother. Corruption and immorality are all par for the course in government.
Of course, being away from the situation gives me a different perspective, one which may be disagreed on by many on this distribution. But I’ll say it anyway: sometimes we need to take ourselves out of an impassioned situation and just do a good job at your own life. So what if you’re not "making a difference"? Try living as if you were an ordinary worker who did not have the financial or communal safety net you have now…that every single peso/dollar you spend has to come from your own blood, sweat and tears…that every moment you spend outside the house is time away from raising, feeding, cleaning, and clothing your kids.
Every morning I get dressed quickly, slice some fruit para may baon ang anak ko sa kotse, wake him up, read him a quick book, dress him, take him to day care, work my ass off at the the Solar Center and go through a f*ckin bureaucratic process to get my $500 reimbursement for travel i did 2 months ago, pick up my child before 5:15, dig for coupons so i can save on groceries (they’re getting really expensive!), walk dogs, cook dinner, bathe him, put him to bed. And by the time this is all done - at around 9 PM, I’ll clean the kitchen, pick up toys, do laundry, go through the mail, pay the bills, catch up on work emails, and wait impatiently for the end of the month so i can replenish my bank account.
I am not alone in this kind of frenetic lifestyle of seemingly unmessianic, irrelevant actions. I’m probably one of the lucky ones who can manage to find time to write a lengthy email on the
Philippines
.
But imagine for a second the ordinary jeepney driver in
Makati
and his saleslady wife and their kids. When the 500,000 strong rally happened, it clogged
Makati
, cutting the jeepney driver’s day pay in half. Okay
sana
if he owns his jeep, but he probably rents it for a flat daily fee. Nalugi siya that day. Siya pa ang may utang. How about his saleslady wife? She probably has to rush home to pick up the kids from the neighbors and cook dinner for her kids everyday. But that day, she didn’t make it home in time because of the traffic from the rally. Her daughter was having a hard time breathing. But as mom and dad get home late, their kid is having an asthma attack. On the way to the hospital, traffic was bad contributing to worsening air pollution. She loses consciousness. The hospital staff demand payment first. Anong ipambabayad nila eh nalugi nga ang tatay dahil sa traffic dulot ng rally? The child doesn’t get the quick medical attention needed. She becomes a vegetable, further making life more complicated and expensive for the hard-working couple.
If you can’t see this effect happening to the ordinary worker’s life, mas malaki ang problema natin. Why care about what the ‘middle-class’ has to say? Middle class in Pinas is doing quite well, thank you very much. Hindi katulad ng middle class sa states where we really do make it from pay check to pay check with no family to help us pay our car, house and cellphone bills.
Meanwhile, GMA may or may not resign. Despite her corrupt rule filled with shady deals and midnight calls to election commisioners, the economy is doing pretty well. If she does leave, who will take her place who isn’t corrupt, who won’t be tempted by the "entrepreneurial spirit of Philippine politics" (as my husband keenly observed)? Heck, if Cory and Marcos-loyalist Erap can share the stage with equally corrupt politicians, what hope is there for pinoy politics? "Set aside differences" my fat, pregnant ass! Why get involved na if whatever you’ve fought for in the past becomes irrelevant anyway? We have to let our elected leaders work through their mandated terms, no matter how painful it is. We’ll just have to learn from our mistakes. At election time, that’s when the rah-rah-rallies should happen… and happen away from the streets.
So the short of it is, here are my observations/suggestions:
1. Do your job - the one that pays the bills, the one that makes a difference in your immediate family’s life - and do it well. (So well that you can afford to hire other people and help create jobs.)
2. Let the politicians do theirs. When you do run for office, refer to #1.
3. Overseas Pinoys have to invest in their country - by sending money, investing in pinoy ventures, and/or investing time by going back home and taking with them the hard lessons learned.
My two cents…
Illogical Love
There is definitely no logical sense whatsoever in wanting to have children. Who would want to subject themselves to sleep deprivation, chronic backaches, spit tops, poopie diapers, excess weight, and dateless years? Mitch and I had not gone out to have a romantic dinner since… since… I can’t even f*ckin remember because motherhood hormones suck the braincells out of you!
There was once a time when I thought I could tough it out, that I didn’t need a man to raise a child. Then four days after Ben’s 3rd monthibirthday, Mitch had to leave for Cambodia for seven weeks. Seven weeks! He left on the week I started back at work, when I was weaning Ben off of breast milk. My hormones were going wild, I was trying to get my work schedule going, and I had to deal with an infant who needed to feed every four hours, with 45 minute long feedings. I barely functioned with 5 cups of coffee a day. If I was lucky, I’d get 4 hours of sleep, but most times, I had 3. Then of course, there were other house chores and animals to take care of. By the fourth week I was sending Mitch desperate emails. When I met up with him in Manila for my sister’s wedding in March on the seventh week, I could barely contain the grudge I held. I was going insane!
But then of course, God has a grand plan to populate the earth. He made babies cute. Puppies, kittens, baby snakes, infants. They’re all undeniably cute.
And by golly, cuteness is their saving grace.
When a new born passes gas or poop, they smile. Who can deny them a smile back, even though you know what lies beneath? Then they grow up and grow strong and learn to throw food at you, you get mad, give them a time out… and then they start curling down those pretty pouty lips that makes you want to hug them and tell them "sorry mommy got mad."
Having children - and deciding to have children, is purely an emotional decision, aside from being ingrained in our DNA. Some say it is insanity. And it is. For there is no logic to unconditionally love someone so helpless and useless (at least for the most part until hopefully you raised them well enough for them to contribute something positive to the family). At least husbands - the good ones - provide some sort of financial, emotional and physical comfort. Babies, they’re just there to take what you’ve got.
(And boy, sometimes mothers have a lot to give! It takes control to stop myself from smothering him. I have to go to my love sponges, the doggies, when I want to squeeze him!)
Ultimately, it is true what they say. There is no greater love than that of a mother for her child. It doesn’t even have to be a biological child - or a human child at all! Humans for the most part seem to be hard-wired to give love unconditionally to especially cute, cuddly beings and take pride in watching them grow personalities. [It's weird, but I feel that for my floos too. And I know that in the end they're animals, but at the same time I feel like I am responsible for the quality of their life.]
Ben just turned 16 months last February 5th. He’s singing the Barney song “I love you, you love me,” although you wouldn’t really know it because is sounds more like “ayaayuuuu, uuuaaaeee” . He also knows his animal sounds perfectly. He loves to hug his giant lion, Leo, in the mornings, and his daddy and mommy at night.
Mitch loves taking him out for bike rides, and the dogs love to have 
him chase them. Some weekend mornings his father will read to me Horton Hatches The Egg, my favorite Dr. Seuss story, and sometimes we both shed a tear. It’s a story about Horton, an elephant who, as a favor to a lazy bird, sits on an egg despite all the trials that go with it. He is a faithful one, that Horton. And you feel that the ending is how it should be in life. That after all you’ve done for your kids, they should return the favor and become replicas of you.
But you know it’s not the case in real life. Having children is something like unrequited love, but you just don’t get over it – EVER.
We know we don’t really own our children, and definitely cannot wield them to be like us. As Khalil Gibran said,
“They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts.
For they have their own thoughts.”
So it’s quite foolish of us to go through the motions of raising a child who we cannot keep for life. One day they will disappoint us and break our hearts. But darn it if we can ever give up on loving our children. So why even bother having more of them? Because having kids is a joy.
Happy Valentine’s Day to my boys!
Oh, and I suppose now is a good time to say – We’re expecting baby number 2! (Coming sometime early August, or late July if they induce.)
SMEAR Campaign.
Exactly four years ago I found myself in the pre-operating room of the National Cancer Institute in Washington, D.C. waiting for Mitch, my fiancé then, to come hold my hand as the nurses prepped me for surgery. He was taking the foreign service exams and was going to meet me at the hospital before I was wheeled into the operating room and put under general anesthesia.
That day in April 2003 was the culmination of a nerve-wracking year-and-a-half long dance with cancer. Up until now, I have not written about it because of shame and the fear it might smear my spotless reputation. (ya right) Well, not anymore. As the ad said, “Tell someone.”
And so I am.
Indeed. There are cancers caused by a virus – a sexually transmitted virus. HPV
I did not consider myself promiscuous. I don’t believe in mixing fluids, if you will, and was pretty faithful to my partner – the second relationship of my life. A month after we ended the relationship, I went to get a physical (my student insurance was still good up until the end of August 2001) and later found that I got a negative pap smear test.
The general practitioner referred me to an OB-GYN. It was a battery of tests for about five months before I underwent my first cervical procedure. Three months later, I went through another pap test and about a month after, Dr. Butler referred me to an oncologist at the National Cancer Institute.
I was at work, staring out of 18th and Connecticut Avenue when I received the call. I nearly crumbled of shock and despair. It was spring 2002 and I was madly in love with my best friend, who then was not in love with me. Oh the drama!
So thus started my year of taking bus rides to the National Cancer Institutes every two and a half months to get a battery of tests. They determined that my dysplasia (a condition when there are abnormal cells in the cervix) was persistent, high-grade and pre-cancerous. I needed to go under the knife – again.
Needless to say, it was not a fun time for me to wait for two to three hours at a time at the National Cancer Institute. (I was not dying anytime soon and they were in no rush to see me) All that time I thought of how stupid I was to have sex - even once – without protection. It didn’t matter if he was the second guy I’ve ever been with. It wouldn’t have mattered if I were a virgin. Heck, as long as my partner has had another partner in the past, or present, I still could have gotten HPV… or chlamydia, or gonorrhea or some other STD… or I could have unwittingly gotten pregnant.
How stupid! And so I learned my lesson the hard way.
It infuriates me to no end that in the Philippines, we still do not talk about sex pragmatically. Men, women, lesbians and gays have sexually liberated themselves but have not sought the tools to take responsible action. Before then, all I feared was pregnancy. So I thought that as long as I was in the clear (I used to count!) and he pulled out (sorry to be graphic but it must be said), I was safe. With my American boyfriends, I was safe 97% of the time.
Safe. Hah.
Sex. Yeah!
Safe Sex.
That means safe sex 100 percent of the time. Always.
No condom, no sex. No commitment, hold out!
And if you haven’t been, go get yourself tested. It can save your life.
Epilogue:
I’ve learned a lot from that experience. I knew that there are some things you can’t control, and some that you can. I learned that I am horrible at controlling my urges, but I can be smart about the destiny I choose for myself and my family. Mitch and I decided we wanted to be pregnant in 2006 – the year I turn 30 – and we did! I was off the pill in December 2005 and found ourselves with a bundle of pure Benny joy in October 5, 2006 after a cesarean section. Last April 5 he celebrated his half birthday. He has a tooth growing and loves to chew on everything.
Why Charter Change?
What Pinoys Don’t Understand about Charter Change – And Why We Need it
By Orion Pérez Dumdum
Talk about Charter Change, and the first thing that comes to mind is the proposal to Shift from the status quo Presidential System to the proposed Parliamentary System.
This is the first point where many Filipinos - who didn’t care to really analyze what Charter Change was really all about - ended up getting misled. Immediately, people talked only about the shift to the Parliamentary System and got stuck there, questioning the obvious advantages which Ivy League heavyweights such as Dr. Juan Linz of Yale and a host of other international political thinkers have already repeatedly published and made known.
The oft-repeated refrain of the naysayers is "How can simply changing the system bring about changes in results if we are likely to still end up with the same people in the newer system?"
Of course, these people couldn’t grasp the simple concept of CETERIS PARIBUS. (The term refers to the idea of controlling other variables by assuming them as equal in order to make objective comparisons between two things.) In this sense, the concept of CETERIS PARIBUS applied to this issue is that even if we had the same politicians, simply changing the system from Presidential to Parliamentary would immediately show advantages, because despite having the same politicians, the Parliamentary System is inherently more efficient because it is specifically more streamlined and more flexible than the Presidential System.
But more importantly, what totally got me (and a few others) so disgusted and frustrated with the mental processes of many of our outspoken compatriots (as well as the easily fooled sheep among us who easily believed the arguments put forward by those with vested interests) was that they totally forgot what the real essence of Charter Change was really all about.
Is Constitutional Charter Change really just all about the shift from the current (and rather faulty) Presidential System with all its prone-to-gridlock Separation of Powers towards the faster, cheaper, more flexible, more accountable, and more efficient Parliamentary System, or was that proposed shift just the "Icing On The Cake?"
Looking deeper into what Charter Change was really all about, I actually find that the proposed shift to the Parliamentary System to have been one of the least important of the numerous changes that the Charter Change advocates proposed. Lest we forget, other than this much touted shift in the system of government, there were other SIMULTANEOUS CHANGES that Charter Change proponents were suggesting:
- Economic Reforms, specifically meant to open up the Philippines to greater Foreign Investment through the removal of barriers to the entry of foreign businesses and capital.
- A shift in the paradigm used for Geographical Administration, specifically one which shifts from the current Manila-centric Unitary (aka "Centralized") System to a system of Federalism which grants a significant level of autonomy to the rest of the regions to provide them with enough freedom to craft laws that are specific to their own regions and relevant to their own cultural/ ethnic/ religious/ linguistic and most especially economic needs.
What is perhaps the most important Reform Proposal to me, as a person whose main criteria for what is considered to be "good" and "beneficial," is the creation of massive economic opportunities and employment for the greater number of Filipinos. And that is the one I listed as number one: The Economic Reforms.
Even without a shift from Centralized to Federalized geographical administration, or even without the shift from the Presidential to the Parliamentary system of government, the Economic Reform proposals, specifically the one which removes barriers to the entry of foreign business and foreign capital goes a long way in helping millions of Filipinos. By simply allowing more and more foreign companies (many of whom are looking for investment locations with a skilled and educated but not-so-expensive workforce) into the Philippines, more and more job opportunities will be created and wages will increase as more and more companies will slowly begin to compete with each other for workers with the best qualifications, and in the end, we will find that there will be less of a need for Filipinos to leave the country in droves in search of simple employment opportunities as menial workers.
To serious students of history, it is precisely the aggressive policy of attracting foreign investment by allowing 100% ownership of local businesses by foreigners that got Singapore up from Third World to First. It was this policy – in response to the massive potential unemployment that threatened Singapore when the British bases were about to leave – that created tremendous employment opportunities and fueled Singapore’s ascent into the league of Developed Countries.
Next in line to those proposed economic reforms within the Constitutional Charter Change line up is the proposed shift from the Centralized to Federal model of geographical administration…
As a person who self-identifies as a Cebuano (and to Cebuanos, Federalism is a means to “free our beloved region from the shackles of Imperialist Manila’s domination”), this is also a very important proposal within the Charter Change package. This proposal is all about giving more power to the regions outside of the National Capital Region.
More importantly, it is also a proposal that aims to allow the various regions - who have differing cultural and linguistic backgrounds, the autonomy for cultural self-expression. With the shift to Federalism, certain regions can now opt to give official recognition to their own languages, as is the case in Federal India, which allows different states to have their own State-recognized official languages. It may also allow different regions to have different laws based on their cultural or religious practices. Regions with significant non-Catholic populations, such as the the Cordillera region (where many are Episcopalian/ Anglican) or the predominantly Muslim areas of Mindanao, may opt to legalize divorce since their religious rules do not follow the Roman Catholic ban on divorce. (In fact, Islam incorporates divorce as a fundamental and necessary option for unsuitable marriages within the framework of Shari’a Law.)
More importantly, the various regions can be creative in finding ways to promote economic activity - a sure short cut of which is to invite foreign businesses to set up shop in those regions. In fact, some regions may wish to create specific deal-sweeteners for such foreign investors by creating specific local legislation for their own regions which may specifically entice said investors. Specific regional legislation may, for instance, deal with simple things such as having tax rates that are lower than the national average, and in so doing, cause the setting up of businesses in such region to become much more attractive than doing business somewhere else.
It is clear that Charter Change - as an entire package - is all about ultimately making things better for the Filipino, and it actually has a very pro-economic progress slant to it.
However, the forces of Primitivism and Closed-mindedness simply prevailed, and they did this by focusing on the icing and not the cake.
The shift to the Parliamentary System is a necessary shift, but one which was not as important (to me) as the other two main proposals. This shift was just the icing on the cake, and the Evil Ones simply took advantage of one supposed "weak point" of that “icing” —> that of "Changing the system without changing the people", even if it is true that changing the system without changing the people would have still brought about major benefits in terms of cost savings, efficiency, speed of legislation/speed of implementation, greater accountability, etc.
For the record, those “Evil Ones” never even talked about the CAKE itself. They never – for once – even discussed their opposition to the shift to Federalism, nor did they even attempt to discuss their opposition to the Economic Reform proposals of Charter Change.
Filipinos - the noisy and ignorant ones, especially - it seems, are still far from being thoroughly analytical and are easily swayed by malicious argumentation from parties with vested interests.
Anyway, fellow Filipinos, you’ve been warned.
Those of you who were against Charter Change, please don’t complain anymore if the Philippines remains the lethargic third world cesspool which the current administration and its pro-Reform allies have tried so hard to improve.
You brought this upon all of us, by refusing to properly analyze issues, by refusing to properly research about it, and by so easily listening to the malicious rhetoric of naysayers who obviously had nothing but vested interests in keeping the status quo.
For those of us who want positive change, let’s not give up. Let us continue - in our own little ways - to educate those who do not analyze, those who do not read, those who do not wish to get to the bottom of things and truly understand the essence of issues. Let us continue to try to convince our not-so-well-informed compatriots that what our country needs to do first is to massively improve its economy by making our laws and our system more in-tune with economic development.
Many of our compatriots are derailed and confused and therefore unable to truly understand issues nor do they know what a developing country like the Philippines really needs to prioritize on. They forget that economic development is the primary concern of any developing country, and oftentimes, they miss the point when they emphasize high-fallutin’ and esoteric "ideals" over and above the basic and practical material needs of our people.
Before I end this message, I just wanted to tell those naysayers and anti-Charter Change partisans that you guys spoiled it for all of us. You latched on to a line of reasoning that you didn’t fully understand, and you got yourselves confused so that you forgot that Charter Change was not really just about changing the System of Government, but rather, it was all about IMPROVING THE ECONOMY, IMPROVING JOB PROSPECTS FOR OUR PEOPLE, and improving the way ECONOMIC OPPORTUNITIES ARE DISTRIBUTED and FANNED OUT to all other REGIONS, not just Manila.
All those naysayers - along with those vested interests who blocked positive reform at every turn - MUST TAKE FULL RESPONSIBILITY for whatever economic lethargy our country may experience as well as the difficulty in eradicating massive and chronic poverty.
Next time, everyone should use their brains and analyze issues properly and read extensively on the relevant topics. No more rhetoric, no more ideological infatuations, no more listening to demagogues, no more platitudes.
It’s high time we Pinoys learned to be more practical and more focused on what really matters for the Majority of our Compatriots: Economic Development, Economic Progress, Operational Efficiency, Cost Savings, and the Creation of Jobs, jobs, and more jobs.
Beware of Pioneer Communications Phone Cards to call Pinas.
PARA SA MGA USERS OF PHONE CARDS TO CALL THE U.S.
DO NOT USE PIONEER COMMUNICATIONS!!!
Actually, their phone connection is pretty good. But they are the most obnoxious group of people! If you want to get phone calls one after the other in the middle of sleep, or getting ready for work, then go use them.
but me? I absolutely hate them. apparently, i am not the only victim. My aunt, who recommended me to them, has also gotten the brunt of their kakulitan.
***
I signed up with them early last week to make calls to pinas. The agent, Rica Linda, asked for referals. I said I’ll call back with it because i didn’t have my phone list with me. Plus I wanted to try out the connections. Buti na lang I haven’t given out any!!!
Last Thursday, 11/30, I got a call from them at 8:04 AM. i told the guy to call back in 3 hours because I stayed up all night with my infant and this was the time I actually get to sleep. (yep, 6:30 - 9.)
Then just when I hung up, the phone rang again (8:06 AM). IT was someone from Pioneer Communications again! I told him that I had just gotten off the phone with his colleague and i told them to call back in 3 hours….
…8:12 AM, the phone rings, its PIONEER again. I tell them to quit it and just take me off their list altogether because I do not want to have anything to do with them.
…8:17 AM the phone rings. Pioneer Communications again. I tell them to have mercy on my sleepless body. I explain that I have no maid, no yaya, unlike in the pHilippines where someone can help with the kid. I pleaded that this is my only time to sleep and to please stop calling. Just STOP CALLING!!!!
…8;19, 8:22,9:01, 10:33, I KID YOU NOT. These are the phone logs I pulled out. I did not make these times up.
NO MEANS F*CKIN NO!!!! How kulit and obnoxious can you be?
So finally when I got my sanity back at 11:30 (syempre, I didn’t get to sleep na because the phone kept on ringing till finally i just unplugged it.) I called their customer service and told their supervisor LEO to just take me off their list. I did not want to hear from them again. So he checked my records and finally - finally!!! - blocked my contact. HE said pa na should anyone from Pioneer call again, i should tell him and they will deal with that person.
so akala ko ok na and that i will be rid of them forever….
12/02 - 7:51 pm
"HI Ma’am, can I speak to Ma’am Lyra, or lira?"
Lyra: "Pioneer Communications ba to?"
"Ah yes mam. M’am Lyra?…."
LYRA: in my mind #$%^&*(*&$@$!%$%^!!!!! "Who is this? kasi dapat Blocked na ako. no one should be calling me."
meanwhile, Ben starts to cry in my arms since I’m trying to feed him and hold the receiver.
"AH Ma’am. Gusto lang po namin i-check kung may tumatawag pa sa inyo…"
(^#$*&^(&#$%^ putris!!!
"ANO?!?!?!??! IKAW pa Lang. Please lang, I have an infant who is crying and I’m trying to do 3 things at the same time. parang awa nyo na, wag na kayong tumawag!!!!!"
"Ay, o sige mam"
WHAT THE FUG??!*#^&^#%
Anyway, just needed to vent. Please tell other people to stay clear of Pioneer Communication and never give out their friend’s information to them. I’m on a mission to bring them down.
- there’s nothing like a stark raving mad sleep deprived moma.
Anticipation
September 29, 2006, 6:23 AM
I haven’t slept through the night for 2 weeks now. It is as if my body is preparing me for life with an infant… that or Blobby just gets mighty active in the middle of the night and I have no choice but to get up and do something productive rather than stare at the blank darkness while being reminded that I am still very much with child.
A month ago I was afraid I would deliver before my due date. I had asked my sister to come a week before my mom did just in case the stork decided to make an early stop. Perhaps it was wishful thinking on my part to be unlike the 70% of first time moms who deliver way past their due date. I guess I’m now part of that statistic.
The past 2 days have gotten me quite depressed, actually. I desperately want to be done with this pregnancy and have a Benjamin Elie or Maya Pearl in my arms instead of constantly pressing against my gutt. God must be preparing me for what motherhood is like. Ultimately, i have no control over this life even if it is largely a part of me. And by golly - patience, Patience, PATIENCE!
I remember the day we found out we were pregnant. I knew I wanted to be pregnant in 2006 so I had prepped my body in ‘05 for it. I swam a little more, strengthened my core muscles, ate healthier, and even saw a chiropractor to get rid of my monthly migraines. We "took the goalie out of the goal post" at the end of December, and voila! February 3, 2006, after unexplained dizzy spells, I got to rule out brain tumor. 
"Omigod! Omigod OMIGOD! Could we be this lucky?" I thought. Most couples try for months - years even - before they get this good fortune. God, my eggs are so slutty. (Or his swimmers are just darn persistent.)
During the following months, I could not wait to look and feel pregnant. We finally made the official announcement when we got to our 13th week of pregnancy. No one believed me. I am a tiny person afterall and the thought of having something smaller inside me is quite strange.
Sometime after we found out we were pregnant, we decided to suck the marrow out of coupledom and make our ‘last hurrah’ before this babe changes our life. So we took off and went to sunny Spain on our 5th month in May. (By the way, a "Babymoon", as it is apparently called, is highly - HIGHLY - recommended.)
Because I had been too lazy to write and update my blog, allow me to fill you in on the cliff notes:
We drove cross-country from Barcelona to Vigo through the winding roads of the Pyrenees in 4 days, passing through quaint and gorgeous mountain towns. Then we spent 3 nights with our good friend Dave and his fiance in Vigo (in Galicia, the western coast of Spain), then flew back to Barcelona where we spent a day walking the La Rambla and a day on the Bus Touristic. (how touristy!) It was the best vacation ever! Que Fuerte Tia!
I thought then, "How lovely is it to be pregnant!"
And indeed I savored every minute of it. We were treated well by the airlines and given good comfortable seats… well, as comfortable as they can get in coach, I mean. I had strangers congratulating me, and telling me how great parenthood is, yadda yadda yadda…
… and now, it’s just "So when are you giving birth?"
I’m not going to go to work even if I had planned to work till my water breaks. (Tihik! I didn’t want to ‘waste’ vacation time. I’ll be taking 3 months off!) Those questions trigger the waterworks. And right now, I am just a walking wad of hormones. The other day, on September 27, I went to work to keep my mind off the pregnancy. I was on the way home when I realized I had left my car keys in the office. I burst into tears. For that!!! What a putz.
Weepy willow me will have to get over it and learn to go with the flow, from now till the end of our parenting lives, I suppose. As Mitch was telling me last night (as he lovingly massaged my feet) "Savor this moment, Ly. It is a gift. These are the last moments when you have a living being inside you."
It’s true. I do love being pregnant. This life that I am living, and the life in me is a blessing in itself. The Blob will eventually have to come out (through generous infusions of pitocin or a C-section next week). I can’t get too greedy with my good fortune.
092920060724h
Movin On
August 27, 2005, 9:56 pm
Filed under:
Love It was love at second sight.
Perhaps it was love on the rebound, or the proximity to HS BFF Rem… or perhaps the scent of pure, intoxicating power… or that huge phallus that stands proudly among museums of art, science and politics. Whatever the reasons, I fell and fell hard.
I came to Washington the second time not as a tourist, but as a student with all the idealistic plans to return home and save my country from self-destruction. You see, everyone who comes to Washington has big dreams. Everyone there starts as an idealist, hoping to change the world, or at least parts of it. Then they make a friend or two who will open their eyes to other worlds and make them realize that by God, the world is so screwed up that they might as well expand the mission. The task, of course, eventually becomes so overwhelming that, in my experience, I finally figured out that a person who can barely keep up with the monthly rent can’t possibly end world poverty.
Armed with a sobering sense of defeat, I was able to unburden myself with such Herculean tasks and soon discovered that this city, when not brimming with frantic political activities, was in fact charming. It wasn’t all hard ball and big-picture talking heads, although it has a lot of those. DC can be vivacious and fun, and FREE. I especially loved the free museums, the free parks, free Shakespeare, free movies, and most especially, the FREEnds (couldn’t help it. I just had to put it there.). I loved hearing five different languages around me while waiting for the bus. I loved biking to work DOWNHILL and feeling the breeze on my face, and getting pissed at the U street stop light at the bottom of the hill that just wouldn’t coordinate with my building momentum. I loved being the only girl in a throng of gorgeous gay men. I loved them cherry blossoms. And the plump pinks trees too.
I never thought I could say this of any city outside the Philippines, but it’s true. Washington, D.C. had become home. It was the city that healed my heart and revived the lover in me. Strange to think that the capital of materialism and heartless world domination could make such a profound romantic impression on me. But it did.
This was wheremy heart found its other home, and my new compass led me here to North Carolina.
This past birthday weekend, I intended to write down my plans for the third decade of my life. I was going to relax and reconnect with friends and figure out what I really want to do with the third decade of my life. Mission accomplished… except that I did not intend to write off D.C.
Like a slighted lover, I had dreams of reuniting with Washington. Oh how I pinned to come back to its fold and walk 18th street again! But like all failed or discontinued relationships, you eventually get over it.
The moment of catharsis happened on my walk over the Duke Ellington Bridge along Calvert street after chatting with my old gift shop boss Dan. Sadly, the gift shop All Wrapped Up, was getting all wrapped up for good. Sandy, the owner, was retiring at the end of the month. It was thus an appropriate conclusion to my Washingtonian life to bid farewell to the store where I had first heard Mitch’s voice.
So during my walk I realized the real reason why I love Washington so much. It 
stood for all the low and very high moments of my independent life. I was young and carefree with no one to look after but myself. I lived in the center of party town (Adams Morgan baby!), and rolled out of siesta to salsa or drag some drunken friends to karaoke. I had no utility payments, no man to answer to, and no car to park. But at 29, things have changed. There are mortgage payments, two cars to maintain, and dogs to walk. Then of course we plan to have a house with a yard 
and herb garden and 2.1 kids playing with 2 beagles and a cat – all this without getting house broke. Wouldn’t it be perfect if we could have all that in Washington?
The prospect of the American Dream in D.C. seems so distant. One would have to work oneself to death to make the mortgage payments. I don’t want that. Truth be told that I do like my lifestyle in North Carolina. I take my hour lunch break at home to walk the dogs, make myself lunch and watch The Cosby Show reruns. I try to leave work at 5:30 PM to get home at 5:36 PM - door to door time. I even like what I do at the Solar Center because I feel the fruits of my labor (even though the process is painful most times). And even if I don’t really have friends here, I’m just dandy with the company I’ve got.
Soon, a wave of sadness overcame me and I felt tears sting my eyes. Everyone 
around me was walking briskly with a purpose. Meanwhile there I was with lead feet, dragging my legs to take that next step. It felt as though each step was coaxing me out of my reverie while I wasn’t prepared to face reality yet. Finally, as I found myself right in front of 1824 Calvert, I came to a quiet acceptance that Washington, D.C. was a part of that life – the life of fancy-free Lyra in her mid-twenties. Even as I beg it to come and continue to be a part of my life, it won’t. It can’t. That is its unchanging course.
And this is mine.
082720052330
Far and Away
"You never realize how much you miss a person until you see them."
Someone once told me the irony of "kamingaw" when I came home to spend Christmas with the family. I go through waves of nostalgia, and depending on which era I reminisce, those are the people I miss at the moment. But it’s fleeting, never for more than a couple of hours or so. Usually I sleep it off. Lately though, I have been missing my ‘old’ family - the one I spent 23 years of my life with. Yes, even Kuya.
Two weekends ago, I spent the most wonderful weekend I’ve ever had in New York with my husband, my sister Beebs and her not-so-little family. She has this cute little baby who is a replica of her once bald, round head. ("Beeb"s, if you must know, is short for Bibo, derived from "Tsubibo" which means "Ferris Wheel" in Tagalog.) I didn’t really think I missed her until I saw her. A rush of emptiness just crept in and her presence hit me like a tsunami to fill the sudden void. Corny allusion, 
but true. No, I didn’t cry and become all sentimental. That hasn’t been me for a while. I guess it helped that Solana the baby kept crying. Keeping her amused sapped all possibilities of emoting.
Beebs currently lives with her her hubby and baby in Australia. On clear July days they come out to the U.S. to play in the sun when the winter gets too chilly Down Under. We were lucky they came out to the East Coast so we could meet up with them in the Big Apple without losing much time to travel and jetlag. The cosmopolitan-ness and inate energy of New York was just the thing I needed to get out of my North Carolinian slumber (rut?). It was fun to walk 7 hours from the ol’ World Trade Center site to Central Park with an all-terrain stroller. Mitch swears he’ll only get one of those when the time comes. 
When the time comes…
With that much distance separating all of us - none of us kids are in the same continent - I have a sad, strange sentiment that whatever dreams we have of a grand family reunion won’t ever come soon enough before we fly to completely different life directions. So, I feel myself straining more to reach out and connect and just find something in common. For sure there are lots of things to talk about and compared to all my friendships, I am more connected to them than anyone else. But never in my life did I think I would say, "Wow, we’re not in the same hemisphere." But it’s not like we don’t understand each other. It’s not even that we don’t have (excuse me to say this) bathroom conversations anymore. We just are in different worlds - literally. And it’s hard to comprehend that when, for most of my life (22 years and a month), I had lived with a sister, sharing the same clothes. My brother is re-unhinged, Dook the ballerina is umarried but seriously dating for 4 years, Beebs is married with kid, and I am married with beagles, Booboo and herbs. Each of us are in the different stages of life.
Me, at almost 29, find myself at the crossroads of a career path. 29 is a serious age. At 30, there’s hardly any turning back. Should I try to develop an entreprenuerial foundation so that one day I can work from home, and maybe partner with the sistraxes? Or should I try to be in a career path that will make me marketable and employable in the event that Mitch gets sent to the middle of a warzone?
You know, maybe this rant isn’t about being far and away from my sisters (and, sige na nga, brother). Let’s face it, at some point in life, your compass just re-directs and the metrics you used to measure yourself change standards. If it can happen to Earth - or NASA, it can happen to me.
And for someone self-absorbed and overly self-critical especially during birthdays, then it can happen as often as once a year.
So yes Lyra, it is time to stop projecting yourself against your sisters and against your stark raving mad (indeed) genius of a brother. You can dance, dammit, without having to feel obliged to compare yourself to The Ballerina. And you can learn to choose - and buy - your clothes without having to think if your sisters would ever laugh at you for buying it. And you can be dependent on men - or a man, and make his lunches as long as he makes your dinner. And you can go tell your boss that you deserve more than a f**kin* 10% raise for 300% more work or else you’ll go solo. And you can take economics and paper science, and go to tango classes, too. You can start your own card shop, even! And at the end of the day, when you’re dead tired thinking of such grand plans, you can slurp some of that strawberry ice cream Mitch is eating because your lola is 49 lbs light.
And then one day when the planets realign, we can all live across from one another - me, the girls, Kuya, the parents, Dad Steve and the herbs, and drive each other crazy. Like any normal family would.
Wouldn’t that be perfect?
